1 Jan 11
My first dugaan after tunang. He drank infront of me. It hurts so much but i put a brave front. I hate to see my loved one drink. It against Islam. I know im not good either but i still think it is not right. :( i really hope he can change.

22 Jan 11
our first misunderatanding. I nagged at him for wanting to play soccer during working hrs. Apparently he cannot accept my teguran. Maybe bcuz to him, i nagged but my intension is just to voice out. I tout it's nothing serious.. But he did not Call me on that night. It's sad cuz i tout tat after our engagement he can accept my teguran but it seem like he is ego.. It's hurtful... I just dont want him to do anything stupid especially when it comes to work. Ape nak buat... He treasure his fends more than me. I don make any impact on his life... That what i feels. He cant live without his fends but he can live without me. I'm not trying to me too emotional but it seems like that.
Everday i doakan that he will change to be a better person. I know he is a nice guy. He came from a good family. His parents raise him well. but he is very stubborn. Stop him from doing something and he will really do it. He don like anyone to control him but when it comes to his fends pujukan he will give in. I observed but i keep it to myself. Afterall they're his fends. They know him longer than me.
Everytime after I solat maghrib I will doa that Allah will open his heart. I just want him to stop drinking. And show him the right path. Plus he have been missing his friday prayers for too long.. I really hope Allah will answer my prayer.. Inshallah...
I love him so so much.. I admit... It will be very very different without him... No guys have moved me as much as he did. It feels like he is my first love and inshallah will be my last...

23 Jan
He reply my msg but till nw tk call2... Salah aku ker? Takan la tk boleh kene tegur sikit pun... Im confuse la...

"S0ri..i was tired, n i dnt want t0 make matter w0rst when i m nt in e m0od. Wil cal u later when im at ease."

