Sometime I wonder what I really want in life? Should I settle for the one already available or keep on searching for the one who really appreciate me. Maybe I’m too kind to myself that I tend to take my feeling for granted.
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My friends commented that I’m so brave to end my 3 yrs relationship with Ekin. I wonder where I get the courage to end it. I thought I’m strong. But entah la ekh. I do feel lonely at times.

I feel suffocated when Ekin keep on calling me. And vice versa. I need to cal him when I keluar rumah, reach work, lunch, finish work and reach home. And when I want to go out with my friends, he expects me to call him often or he will call me often. It really suffocates me. I think I started to change ever since I worked in SIAEC. I admit I change a lot. I used to depend on him. And he has been providing me financially. He gave me pocket money weekly and top up for me my easylink event thought I’m working. He pays for all the dates we went to. My friends say I am fortunate to have him. And I’m the bad one. He is such an understanding and faithful guy but I did this to him. I admit he is a nice guy that every girl dream of. Maybe because of his past background that I cannot accept him and he are too childish. He always thinks that he is right and likes to force me. Because of one of his bad habit, that has been telling my mind that he is not a good bf.

I admit sometimes I miss his presence. He understands me too well. Maybe this is life. When you find the one who really love and understand you, there will be some stuff that you do not like about him. Read his blog and I’m happy that he has finally found someone who appreciates him more than I do.

Me on the other hand am still waiting for miracle…


Now when I really like this guy, there so many obstacle that I need to face. I thought I was strong to face the entire obstacle and everything will be fine, but now I feel that I’m not strong enough to face it all. At times I feel exhausted. I still like him. In fact I like him more now. But I feel so hopeless now. I went through a lot of mind guessing games and roller coaster rides.



Everyone longed to be loved and pampered. After being single for 5 months, I started to feel lonely.
Think my parents can see that I’m feeling lonely that they always ask me out and treat me.

The longest I am single is 3 years. Then I met ekin and we were together as friends for 1 yr b4 we become bf/gf…

After 3 yrs plus with Ekin, I end my relationship and now I’m back to single, Liking a guy who I do not know if he like me too..


I hate this year. 21 year old is a bad age for me. It is full of bad luck and my life full of obstacle. Things never start well for me this year. Argh!!! I need a break. Can someone please bring me for HOLIDAY!!!!

I need one. I’m too tired and exhausted of this life of mine.

I tired of sarcastic colleagues of mine. Damn it… Argh… Feeling damn bloody stress up with life now. Stress with work! Stress with myself… Feels like nak breakdown sei… Need a shoulder to cry. Can anyone lend me your shoulder??

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