OMG!!! My menses come earlier. It is not one day early, but 5 days early. Never experience this before but is this normal? Usually I come my menses later or exactly on the 28 cycle but this time it earlier. Is it because I’m stress? I hope so. I received my report on my blood test last Friday and it does not look quite good. I’m short of red blood cell, haemoglobin and Haemotocrit (PCV). I exceed my monocytes. Normal person should have 2 to 10 but I have 17 monocytes. It is more that what normal person should have. The doctor, too ask me to look after my diet as I’m underweight and my bad eating disorder may cause me to faint easily. I want to eat, but the problem is I do not have appetite to eat. I have not been eating rice for the past 2 weeks and I’ve survived on biscuits, soup and noodles and lots of caffeine and “redbull”. That is my diet now. I just hope everything will be fine, because my colleague have tegur me that I look pale and thinner now. Half of me like it, half of me don like it. Imagine size S looks big on me and some brands do not come in size XS.

Life has been manageable. Wednesday I went Payar Lebar, Tamp and Bedok after work alone. Life is miserable even though it manageable. Get two dress and some toiletries. I try to put on a smile on my face everyday. Still my colleagues know that I’m not fine. Kak Yati said to me that I actually miss Sunshine’s even though I smile and laugh at work. I just look at her and smile back. Hehe. She is so scary. She really knows what I’m thinking. Went to Duty Free to get the free perfume. It is Britney new collection. Not bad la. It 50ml. Saw the CK perfume that Sunshine’s use. Miss that smell. Spray the tester on the paper and it now in my hp pouch. Gosh am I crazy? I miss the smell. Stop it Amalina!! Why think and care for a guy who does not bother about your feeling?? Well one of my principle in life is to give more and expect less. Haha… Ok babe. This Saturday I do not know what is the plan since both my good fends bf are free and I’m sure they want to spend time with their bf. We can still meet some other day.

LOVE IS BLIND

Sunshine's came over my block after work. Damn e rain la. If it not raining i get to see him in his army uni. I suddenly feel so speechless. The guy i been missing every single minute, and when he is right here next to me, i feel so speechless dunno what to say. It kinda awkward. Now tat he took his stuff and i took my stuff, i wonder when will be the next time i get to meet him. Talk for a while then we say our goodbye. Gosh.. I tell myself not to look behind after i walk off. I succeed, but when i reach my staircase i curi look behind, his bike da jln. That moment, i really regret for not looking behind, cuz i dunno when will be e next time i get to c him. He have slim down. No more the big Sunshine's. I miss him. Well like the saying goes, if he meant to be urs, he will be urs. If he not meant to be urs, even hw hard u pray and try he will never be urs. It all in Allah hand. You can only pray. I've started to loose hope in going back with him. Maybe i really mean nothing to him like what some people told me... Im jus a nobody to him..

IM HAPPY!!