I dunno where to start.. This is not a happy entries of my life... Don gona blogged about my 21st birthday.. That will be postponed when im more stable in my thoughts... Can't get myself to slp... Sunshine's no more... My friends were right... You cant get happiness always.. Life is full of dugaan.. Why did tuhan let me feel the enjoyment of being loved for jus a few months??? Why must tuhan test me on my birthday?? I admit im a weak gal... People been asking me who is this Mr Sunshine's... Thanks for all ur well wishes.. This Mr Sunshine's is like an angel.. He came into my life when i am in a mess.. He used to be just a friend's to me.. As we grow closer, i fallen for him... That i keep it in my heart... I find him an amazing guy.. Being faithful to his then ex of 9 years.. He have experience hards and pains of relationship... He is the one i talk to when im in a bad state with Ekin. I was attracted by his coolness, understanding and his maturedness... Chatting with him just make me forget everything. I didnt expect tat this amazing guy, one day will become my bf... I feel blessed when i am with him... I am really really happy... In my happiness, i think i have failed as a gf to ask his feeling.. I thought he already forget his ex.. Today, it like a bombshell jus exploded in my head... I feel so helpless and speechless... I am not a good gf.. I jus think about my happiness in being with him without realising that i have not asked his true feeling... I so sorry... I knw it is difficult for you to forget her.. And i know i will never be able to replace her in your heart... I know that all along.. even b4 we were in a relationship.. Have you ever asked yourself why i dare to go on a relationship even when i knw that you have not forget her totally?? Cuz i have trust in you.. I did not ask you to forget her.. Cuz it is selfish of me.. I jus want your love and care towards me.. You have make me to be a better person. You have make me think before i make a decision... Y cant u apply that to our problems too?? I just hope that you will calm yourself down and think carefully... Didnt i mean anything to you? Think about the happy times we shared togethere cuz that is the most memorable days in my life...
Ya allah, please show us the right way. We are two people who is feeling hopeless and confused..
I don care what readers wanna say about me.. You wanna say it a one sided love or what ever... I don care... Cuz i knw we have to fight for our own happiness and i find my happiness in him.. Inshallah if my heart is ikhlas in loving him, im sure one day his hearts will open fully and accept me..
Im jus feeling helpless now.. There nothing much i can do.. I did not want to add stress in him.. I jus hope that tomorrow meeting will be a happy meeting for us.. Cuz we really need a heart to heart open talk....
did this thinking to give him a suprise on the 16.. Too bad... The printer did not get to print fully.. Dunno when i will get the chance to give it to him... so i paste it here..
The wording is kinda small but i have type it out...
**Im not good in words, Im not good in expressing my love to you,
But i hope my little gesture is able to show you how much i love you.
One month together with you, already make me fall deeply for you.
You are just amazing. You make me laugh. You make me feel special.
I feel so blessed to have you in my life.
Thank you for making everyday of my life special.
16 February is the day, and Clark Quey is the place that witness our love... **
I guess it too late to say all these.. I just hope that everything will turn out well tomorrow and he will still be my Mr Sunshine's
IM HAPPY!!
