I"M FEELING LONELY NOW!!!

The time now is 12.13 pm.... and today is a Saturday... Ya today is Saturday and here i am at home.. I'm stuck at home.. My dedear is working till dunno what time... Argh!!! Sometime i wonder if he really working or...... I dunno..... I suddenly feel so lonely.. Stayin alone at home. My dad working. Mum and baby went johor.. My brother went out... C even my brother went out and here i am at home... WTF!!!
I dunno y these few days my mood abit sensitive... Don ask me what i'm sensitive at.. Cuz i myself dunno... I jus feel so hopeless and lonely.. Ya i hav a bf but somehow i do feel lonely... I dunno if my bf hav been cheating on me... I dunno.. It jus that lately tat i hav been daydreaming bout him cheating me and leaving me.... I dunno y.... I trust him... But yet i hav these feeling.. I feel very lonely now.. very very lonely...
Sometime when i'm talking on the phone with my dedear and there things that he said hurt me i feel like exploding... Last itme i always show my unhappiness if i'm not happy with what he say.. But nw, I tell myself these:"Emilyn... Relax urself and all this is a test from allah.." and i will take one deep breath... Guess what??? It really work for me.. Haha... Maybe because of these tat it have been a burden for me.... The unhappiness is stuck in my body.. With no one to share it with... As APRIL wrote in her blog... She suddenly miss her friends... Ya APRIL... Me too... I suddenly miss my fends and GRANDPA... I miss my happiness with them.. I miss my primary sch fends, miss my secondary sch fends especially jacqueline, safiah, nina, rakesh, yusoff, elly, hui shan, hui teng, joycelyn and the list go on... I miss u guys... I miss my outside fends like zul, ah wei, zean, ari, nabil.... I miss my night outing with them.... I miss all my friends... It seem like i nw is in my own world... I hav no one with me... I miss gossiping wit nina and jacqueline... sharing problems and what i miss most is their laughter.... I Miss them all..
I now waiting for dedear to msg me... but to no avail... I feel so lonely at home.. i feel like going out... I don mind going out alone... Maybe i jus go tamp and hav my ice blended b4 i meet my dedear... I need time to relax myself... I suddenly feel so tense up... Argh... Am i having a problem here? What problem?
I guess it true what some people say... If ur not happy wit anythin say it out.. Don bury it in ur body.. Cus at the end if the day u r the one who will suffer... Ya i'm suffering nw from?? i dunno...
I don feel hungry when i sad.. Ya... i jus realise that i hav not had my breakfast yet... and yesterday night i jus ate bread for dinner.. In sch i ate chocolate and twistie... Talking bout chocolate i feel like eating chocolate and ice cream!!!! I always hav a crave of these whenever i stress... But i not feeling stress rite nw... I jus feel lonely... I hate to be alone... gtg... Guess i jus head to tamp and have my swensense ice cream or maybe ice blended....

IM HAPPY!!